Memento Mori

I had to run an errand at Walmart last night on my way home from a church business meeting, and the parking lot was almost completely empty, which I have never seen at this Walmart. I'd been watching the results on my iThing during the meeting, and it was not yet a lost cause for Hillary, but things were not looking promising.

I was wearing the blazer I bought specifically for the day, with my Stuart pin on my lapel, and rocking a pair of heels that I love. I decided that no matter what happened, I could still hold my head up, and I went in and did my things and thought of Dirge Without Music:

Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.

I went back to the car, with my usual woman-alone-in-dim-parking-lot Awareness, and it occurred to me that men like Trump are the reason we HAVE to be so careful. Alone, in daylight or darkness, drunk or sober, just the fact that we are women seems to put us at automatic risk.

I cried most of the way home, and then I stayed up until the results were final and sat there numbly unable to comprehend that this was actually happening.

I went to sleep after more tears. I woke up with more tears. I can't eat breakfast because I'm too upset.

I did not vote for Hillary because she embodies all my personal values, because she really does not. I voted for Hillary because she was, in my carefully considered opinion, our best shot at preserving an America we could all be safe, with mutual respect for all faiths, convictions, and values. Not just MY faith and values. Imposing those on others is unAmerican.

I focused on liberty of conscience and freedom of religion in choosing my candidate because in my Seventh-day Adventist faith, those are the specific things we believe will be targeted and threatened in America as time draws to a close and the final crisis hits. We are encouraged to vote for the person who will best protect those rights of conscience, not for our faith only, but in general.

I believe God knows what just happened, and I will rally. But for now, I am just numb.

On one hand it seems confirmation of my prophetic beliefs that something this unbelievable could actually happen (most people scoff at our belief that a strict Sunday law will be enacted in this country), but that does not mean I am going yippie because a completely unworthy person is going to be our new president. It is very sobering. I don't know how things will play out. I am too numb right now to even speculate.

But here is a verse from Isaiah that I read last week that has been kind of rattling about in my brain ever since:

I, even I, am he that comforteth you:
who art thou, that thou shouldest be afraid of a man that shall die,
and of the son of man which shall be made as grass;
And forgettest the Lord thy maker,
that hath stretched forth the heavens, and laid the foundations of the earth?

I know how the story ends. Jesus is going to win. But in the meantime, He is going to have to help me navigate through this, because the near future looks like a pretty dark and threatening place.

OK.

So, not only was Cindy McCain's convention outfit worth more than the average American house, it's boxy, hideous and made her look fat in most of the pictures.

Who pays $300,000 for one outfit? I mean seriously. What kind of good stewardship is that? What does it say about how logically and sensibly McCain, Inc (and most other People On the Top Rung) think about money?

What does it say about what they'll do with the people's money?

This evening it is very warm. It was 70 earlier today. We were out and about all morning on the trail of the Elusive Elections Office. The husband didn't get his ballot mailed to him, so he went to the Multnomah Co. office to ask what the deal was, and they said that now that he's in Clackamas Co., he had to go to their office. So we went meandering down to the address the lady gave us and a sign on the door of the [very ghetto] building proclaimed that... the office had re-located. Joy. So we had to find that place. I think I counted about five or six Ron Paul yard signs while out. In fact, I saw more Ron Paul signs than Hillary... or even Obama, I think. This amused me. The best part is there is not a single McCain sign to be seen. Anywhere.

So we finally arrived at the right place and we sat to wait while they processed the information and Dan said, "Are you sure you don't want to register to vote? You could vote for Ron Paul, too!"

I kid you not, right at that moment I saw a sign on the wall stating that it was Against the Law to co-erce or influence anyone else's vote. I pointed this out to him, much amused.

I'm still just not ready to deal with this whole voting thing. The husband - and everyone else - just needs to deal with that and chill.

We finally got home and had lunch. Burritos. I vas schtarvink. When we were done, I was very full. In fact, I am still very full nine hours later.

Then we both buckled down to work. I met my goal of two hours that I made yesterday. Tomorrow my goal is to just finish the herbs keywords. There aren't that many left. One of the products had a LONG writeup and oh maaaaaan this guy can't write to save his life. The sentence structure was just out of this world. I could barely make sense of it, but I think I fixed it. You would have had to see it to believe it.

Then we went to Bible study in the evening and that was good. Pastor Paul got asked a question about the difference in wording between his translation and this other guy's, and it was really refreshing to hear Pastor just come out and clarify what the word of God really is. The Bible IS the Word of God, but it is not the words of God. The apostles and prophets didn't take dictation. This is obvious because of the varying writing styles of the different authors that is still really obvious even thousands of years and hundreds of translations later. The Holy Spirit moved them, and they wrote what He revealed to them, but in their own words. Therefore... no one translation is THE one. It's all from the same source, and people are constantly going back and refining the translation work, learning more about Hebrew and Greek thought and what was really meant by the texts we have. The King James Bible, beautiful as it is, is not the one and only Bible. It has translation errors. Probably every Bible does. But the beauty is that no matter how faulty the translation, its divine origin cannot be disputed by anyone who studies it thoroughly.

Pastor also pointed out that if the KJV was The Only True Bible... what about the fact that the Spanish-speaking countries have no King James Version? Or the French people? Their translations are no less worthy just because they're not written in Shakespeare's English.

That wasn't even his topic for the night, but it was a really profitable diversion and it was good to discuss it and hear him, as a pastor, be honest and open and non-combattive about it.

So now it's warm. It's warm enough that I can smell the cat pee in the corners. Dan and I are praying about what to do when my lease is up in August. Please join and pray with us that God will show us where to go or whether we should stay here. We have some ideas, but we're not wanting to step out of His will.

And LOLcats rule. FUZZY FURRY THINGS WITH EARS THAT GO MEW. i want.