Memento Mori

Dear Strange Popping Noises Coming From Within:

I would feel much, much better if you would cease.

Jael

***

Dear Stray GooGoo Foot of Doom:

I would feel much, much better if you would tuck yourself somewhere besides, say, my most ticklish rib.

Thank you.

The maternal unit

***

*watches Spot turn around in circles several times as he settles down practically out of reach*

***

Dan asked me if I wanted to go with him to Portland tomorrow. I have nothing really urgent to do here and will likely be bored out of my mind if I stay, so I said yes. I am in luck that my midwife appointment will be all done in time to go.

Then I discovered that we will just Happen to Be close to Powell's Bookstore.

I know where I will be spending a blissful hour and a half.

So, GooGoo, please don't decide to come tomorrow. I still maintain Tuesday would be a good choice on your part. Not the day when I finally get a chance to go to Powell's without a bored husband trailing along behind me wanting me to hurry up and finish looking. OK?

***

So sleepy. So glad to be back in my own bed tonight.

*follows the path of The Foot with her hand trying to coax it to tuck itself in*

Dear Mirror with Glass Doors in my room,

Thank you for having the courtesy to let me know Just How Fat I Really Am right now. I only ask that you try to break these things to me more gently in future. It's kind of a shock, because looking DOWN I don't think I look that big. From the side I look like a bloated, slightly wobbly mass.

Again, thanks for the revelation, and the unspoken reminder that it only gets bigger from here.

Iffy kind of love,
Jael

***

We watched "Fireproof" this evening after hiking at McDowell Creek Park. The acting was, as Andrew promised, pretty bad. It had some good points, but at the same time I wasn't completely sold on the whole thing. I think it could have been better, but at the very least it did promote good values, the need for Jesus to be central, and - I am sure - will help a lot of people to rethink the way they look at their marriages. If nothing else? The salt and pepper wedding cake topper was THE BEST.

Spot did quite well walking today and we got him a tin of salmon as a reward. We aren't, obviously, giving him the whole thing. We had some ourselves and some left over, so he can have another treat of it tomorrow. I've never had tinned salmon before. It was interesting. Not disgusting, but definitely far short of freshly cooked salmon. Makes me wonder if I'd think less of tinned tuna if I tried fresh. Better not tamper with a good thing.

We also bought him his first bag of Grown Up Cat food, so we can start making the transition - he'll be a year old in a few weeks here, so it's about the right time. And some thank-you cards from the Dollar Tree.

Time for bed.

Dear Google,

When I type in "Classic Pooh", I do NOT want Disney Pooh results. Please bear this in mind. Thank you. Goodbye.

-Perturbed in Lebanon

Right.

I just checked the mail. There was a letter to jorèle.

The Oregon Health Department informed me that as of the FIRST of January, the new smoke-free law went into effect for all places of business.

Like, I smoke like a chimney and this really affects me.

But it seems like if the law went into effect nine days ago, I should have gotten this letter, say, eighteen days ago.

I'm just saying.



I did, however, get a pretty no-smoking sticker for my window out of the deal. I think I'll put it up here in the office so as to remind myself not to smoke in my place of business.

Dear Spot,

When playing with your gold tinselly ball in the future, please do NOT toss it into your litter box and jump in after it. Litter box≠toy box.

Thank you.

Your female human