verity83: (WriterLew)
Today I just realised something that kind of goes hand in hand with yesterday's post about Cambridge Springs: I got the NEAS Journal today and suddenly realise how little I care any more.

It's not that I don't like Nelson anymore; that's not the issue at hand. It's the fact that the journal seems to have become a place for obituaries... plus a good third of this latest issue was just excerpts from letters to Diane that have little or nothing to do with Nelson.

There's not much left to be said that hasn't already been said. If anything.

I guess my priorities are changed. I don't really care to spend money on going to Cambridge Springs now, even if I had it and could go. I'd rather spend the money in a way that is of direct benefit to someone.

I don't think I'm going to continue getting the journal any more after this year is up, either. I would rather send the $25 to someone who needs it for, say, food or clothes. It's nice to help young baritones, but there is a sense of urgency in my heart that time is running out and not to spend very much on fun and indulgences anymore. Investing in the kingdom of God and my own family seems so much more important.

I thank God for all the joy Nelson has brought to me and for the lifepath on which I believe God used Nelson to get me travelling. But the obsession is done and I don't need my Old Dead People to feel fulfilled any more. I have so much to live for NOW, people who need me NOW.

The Old Dead People are in their proper place: to be enjoyed like spice, but not to be my lifework/obsession. Such a lifework won't last, but what I do for my family and for others in the name of Jesus will.
verity83: (Default)

  • 06:30:21: Kept dreaming about oil of Kazan for my icon - a GALLON! - to the tune of "By the Walls of Kazan". Annoying. Making baked oatmeal now.
  • 10:08:47: thinks that maybe, just maybe, she will see the top of her computer table again here today.
  • 10:15:43: found a bag of dried cranberries on her table. Mmm.
  • 11:20:23: is-a starving. Time to go find food. Cleaning is progressing nicely despite a detour through scrapbook paper land...
  • 15:06:29: just up from nap, mind still in fog, cosy kitty nearby
  • 16:23:32: working on baby announcement.
  • 20:44:35: had forgotten ALL ABOUT PAUL NELSON VARSILLY LANG. Debating whether to laugh or cry now that she has unforgotten him.
  • 21:45:50: is lying in bed awaiting the arrival of Sir Baldwin. Long day. Sleep will be welcome.
  • 21:52:01: Also, yesterday was the official Two Months to Go mark. Sounds like such a looooooong time.

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