Rather frustrated.

Busy day ahead of me, but I'm going to try to stay focused on downstairs and not worry about the upstairs just yet. I just wish I could get on top of things. I feel like my entire life is a battle to just keep basic tidiness in effect. I hate my ineptitude. And it's not that I don't have the desire or don't try, because I really do. I hate living in a mess, yet my brain seems to have some connections missing or something as to how to get *rid* of the mess and keep it that way.

Need to make blueberry muffins. Going to try a batch with Rumford baking powder (that has no aluminum) and a second batch with a baking soda/cream of tartar substitute. We'll see how they turn out.

Dan wanted to try the homemade laundry soap Steve and Laura did, so we got all the stuff for it last night and brought it home and then I got a whiff of the Fels Naptha soap and I'm not sure I'm going to be able to handle that. I told him we should try a very small batch first and see whether the smell lasts through washing and if not whether vinegar will take it out. So, we'll give that a whirl on Sunday.

I really just want to go back to bed. This whole week I've felt like I've been in a bit of a daze. Hard to get up in the morning and hard to stay focused on my tasks. Blah. I can't even read more than a couple pages before my mind starts wandering and I realise I've turned pages without having any idea what I just read.

Pray for me. I need it today. Let's just hope I can conveniently time my meltdown well in advance of Bible study tonight.

(no subject)

Well, thanks to God I did get a lot done today and I feel good knowing I'm finished with the most important stuff now. Need to get out chairs for everyone. We are now having 11 people here tonight. Glad I made 2 dozen muffins. Well, there are 22 left now. Enough for everyone to have one and some to have two.

Thought I'd also make popcorn and cut up some apples or something if people want them. But that's it.

I also got the rest of the peaches in the freezer, vacuumed, got the living room cleaned up, and made soup and rice for tomorrow's lunch.

Now I'm going to install Snow Leopard.

"Look here, old girl...

...I'm not much with this romantic stuff, but I think you're simply ripping. "

"I'm dripping, Willie."

I have no idea why this dialogue is running through my head. I have issues.

***

I saw a stick stuck upright in the river while walking this morning and my first thought was of Beau Geste and I had a Sudden Great Urge to see it. But I don't have it. Sad.

And I'm not sure why a stick stuck upright in the river made me think of Beau Geste, but it did, so there.

I wonder if it's normal to have certain parts of movies or certain events so vividly clear in my mind that I can play them back. Sometimes I find it disturbing.

Other times, like today, I'm just wondering why some of the most bizarre things are apparently cemented in my brain. I haven't thought of or seen Beau Geste in years (a whopping two viewings total), yet parts of it just randomly started playing back in my head with ridiculous clarity.

Of course, I haven't seen Smilin' Through in probably longer than that, but at least with that one I have the excuse that I watched it a hundred times.

All that being said, it's driving me crazy that I can't remember one very vital thing about the plot of Beau Geste. DID BEAU COME HOME? If not, what happened to him?

I need to find something productive to do besides query the strange mechanism called My Brain.