I was wearing the blazer I bought specifically for the day, with my Stuart pin on my lapel, and rocking a pair of heels that I love. I decided that no matter what happened, I could still hold my head up, and I went in and did my things and thought of Dirge Without Music:
Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.
I went back to the car, with my usual woman-alone-in-dim-parking-lot Awareness, and it occurred to me that men like Trump are the reason we HAVE to be so careful. Alone, in daylight or darkness, drunk or sober, just the fact that we are women seems to put us at automatic risk.
I cried most of the way home, and then I stayed up until the results were final and sat there numbly unable to comprehend that this was actually happening.
I went to sleep after more tears. I woke up with more tears. I can't eat breakfast because I'm too upset.
I did not vote for Hillary because she embodies all my personal values, because she really does not. I voted for Hillary because she was, in my carefully considered opinion, our best shot at preserving an America we could all be safe, with mutual respect for all faiths, convictions, and values. Not just MY faith and values. Imposing those on others is unAmerican.
I focused on liberty of conscience and freedom of religion in choosing my candidate because in my Seventh-day Adventist faith, those are the specific things we believe will be targeted and threatened in America as time draws to a close and the final crisis hits. We are encouraged to vote for the person who will best protect those rights of conscience, not for our faith only, but in general.
I believe God knows what just happened, and I will rally. But for now, I am just numb.
On one hand it seems confirmation of my prophetic beliefs that something this unbelievable could actually happen (most people scoff at our belief that a strict Sunday law will be enacted in this country), but that does not mean I am going yippie because a completely unworthy person is going to be our new president. It is very sobering. I don't know how things will play out. I am too numb right now to even speculate.
But here is a verse from Isaiah that I read last week that has been kind of rattling about in my brain ever since:
I, even I, am he that comforteth you:
who art thou, that thou shouldest be afraid of a man that shall die,
and of the son of man which shall be made as grass;
And forgettest the Lord thy maker,
that hath stretched forth the heavens, and laid the foundations of the earth?
I know how the story ends. Jesus is going to win. But in the meantime, He is going to have to help me navigate through this, because the near future looks like a pretty dark and threatening place.
I'm just getting started! There are plenty more to be added. This is just what I happen to have in the trailer currently. Hit me up with any queries you may have or if you're looking for any particular hymn.
1. The Broadman Hymnal. No apparent denomination. Copyright 1940. Hardback, green with silver imprinting. 510 songs and 59 responsive readings.
2. Children's Praise and Worship. Uncertain denomination. Copyright 1928. Hardback, blue with black imprinting. 266 songs.
3. Christian Hymnal. Mennonite. Copyright 1959, mine is 20th printing 1998. Hardback, black with gold imprinting. 657 songs.
4. The Christian Hymnary. Mennonite.
5. The Christian Science Hymnal. Christian Scientist.
6. Christian Worship: A Hymnal. Baptist/Disciples of Christ. Copyright 1953, mine is 13th printing 1964. Hardback, maroon with gold imprinting. 93 responsive readings and 558 songs.
7. Church Hymnal. Mennonite. Copyright 1927. Blue with gold imprinting. 657 songs.
8. Church Hymnal. Seventh-day Adventist.
9. Church Hymnal. Unknown denomination. Copyright 1951. Hardback, burgundy with gold imprinting. 411 songs.
10. Foursquare Hymnal. Foursquare Gospel. Copyright 1957. Hardback, burgundy with completely blank cover/binding. 390 songs.
11. Great Hymns of the Faith. Denomination unknown; publisher is Singspiration/Zondervan. Copyright 1968, mine is 21st printing 1974. Hardback, red with gold imprinting. 548 songs and 60 responsive readings.
12. Happy Songs for Boys and Girls. Seventh-day Adventist. Copyright 1952. Paperback, green/red/yellow. 139 songs.
13. Hymnal of the Church of God. Church of God. Copyright 1953. Maroon hardback with gold imprinting. 507 songs and 84 responsive/congregational readings.
14. The Latter-day Saint Hymnal. LDS (Mormon).
15. Life Songs 2. Mennonite.
16. The Methodist Hymnal. Methodist.
17. Modern Quartets for Men. Denomination, if any, unknown; not all the songs are religious. Publisher is Rodeheaver. Copyright 1938. Hardback, black with gold imprinting. 133 songs.
18. Praises We Sing. Mennonite. Copyright 1980, mine is 11th printing 2009. Paperback, orange/white. 382 songs.
19. Seventh-day Adventist Hymnal. Seventh-day Adventist. Copyright 1985, mine is 14th printing 2006. Hardback, black with gold imprinting. 695 songs and 225 responsive readings.
20. Sing to Jehovah. Jehovah's Witness.
21. Songs We Love. Denomination unknown. Copyright 1969. "Limp bound" brown. 270 songs.
22. Soul Stirring Special. Denomination unknown. Copyright MCMXLI. Very ratty paperback, quite a few torn pages. 191 songs.
23. Waves of Glory No. 2. Nazarene. Copyright 1921. Brown "limp cloth" binding. 420 songs.
24. Worship in Song. Nazarene. Copyright 1972. Hardback, russet with gold imprinting. 514 songs and 83 responsive readings.
25. Zion's Praises. Mennonite.
50. The Barber Who Wanted to Pray, RC Sproul. 40pp
This was really sweet. The pictures border on being a little too cartoony for my usual taste but I still like them: very detailed, very rich colours. I like that this is a true story and that it has such a positive lesson, making a richer prayer life something to be grasped. It even got me thinking as an adult and I look forward to incorporating these lessons into my own prayer life as well.
51. William and His Twenty-Two, Mabel R Miller. 159pp
This is a small piece of Adventist history, written for children about 9-13ish. A LOT of names to try to keep straight (the 22 refers to the 22 children of this William, not a gun). Very interesting and fun stories.
52. Moses the Kitten, James Herriot. 32pp
Haven't read this for years, but Carpenters had it and so I revisited it. *squish*
53. Only One Woof, James Herriot. 32pp
I'm sure I probably read this as a child, but it sparks only very vague memories.
54. Hergé, Son of Tintin, Benoit Peeters, 424pp
A fascinating look into the life of the man behind Tintin. Not a particularly admirable man, I must say, in most regards, although his talent is undeniable. It was interesting to read Peeters' analyses of the various Tintin adventures and get some insights into what inspired them. I had no idea that so many of the earlier ones especially were triggered by real world events at the time - you kind of lose that immediacy when you don't read it when it's written, I guess. There are a number of Tintin adventures I'm just not comfortable with and never really have been, but thankfully there are still some good ones too.
55. Depression, the Way Out, Neil Nedley. 265pp
A most helpful and encouraging read, with solid science and common sense teaching one how to deal with anxiety and depression by implementing lifestyle changes. I would recommend this as a read for anybody who deals with depression either in oneself or a loved one, because it's practical and the method targets the causes of the disease rather than just masking symptoms.
<lj-cut text="And now for the Awards">
Month with most pages read:
May, with 1862 pages
Most Helpful Self-Help Book:
Depression, the Way Out
Book I Read Yet Again, Totalling 4 Times in 4 Years:
The Great Controversy
Best non-marathon reread:
A Walk in the Woods, Bill Bryson
Most Intriguing Non-Fiction:
Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things
Book I Was Sure I'd Hate and Ended Up Loving:
All Creatures Great and Small, James Herriot
The Tenant of Wildfell Hall
Best Children's Book Previously Unread:
Cornelli, Johanna Spyri
I Am What I Ate...and I'm Frightened!!!
Most Egotistical Piece of Egotism:
Labour of Love
Best Book About China:
River Town: Two Years on the Yangtze
Arms Wide Open: A Midwife's Journey
Book Most Likely To Provoke Controversy When Read In a Public Space:
The Great Controversy? (And yes, Marie, I stole that award title from you)
Best Book Chosen Randomly Because the Title Made Me Snort:
The Good Old Days, They Were Terrible! Otto L Bettman
Most Fascinating Excursion Into the Past:
At Home, Bill Bryson
Author I Read Most:
Ellen G White (GC plus Testimonies 1-5)</lj-cut>
Page count for December: 952
Total page count for 2011: 13,111
Juvenile fiction: 13
Juvenile nonfiction: 8
44. Still More Stories from Grandma's Attic, Arleta Richardson. 157pp
I was asked to do children's story at church at the end of November, so this was the beginning of my quest to find a story I could tell. I didn't end up using any of the stories from it, but it was fun to revisit this favourite from childhood.
45. The Secret Church, Louise A Vernon. 128pp
This was my favourite book as a child for many years. Again read hoping maybe for children's story fodder, but the story was too complex to condense down to five minutes.
46. For Time and Eternity, Allison K Pittman. 384pp
ruthette was reading this (free on Kindle). I really don't read much fiction any more, especially Christian fiction, which I have a general personal vendetta against - but because it was free and about a topic I'm intrigued with at the moment (Mormonism), I gave it a read.
It was interesting. In fact, I liked it more than I thought I would - it wasn't well-written, but made a lot of interesting points. I think the part that stood out to me most was the part where Kimana (the Native American maid) makes the point to the main character that, had Jesus really come to the US as the Mormons teach, her people would have passed such a monumental story down through the generations.
I think I'd read the next books if the library would have them, but would never go out and buy them. Am mildly curious to know how she plans to wrap it all up.
Also really liked the author's little "interview" thing at the end of the book. It was nice to see her call Mormonism by its right name and not try to be all ecumenical about it. :-)
47. The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, Anne Brontë. 576pp
So, as I said, it is true that I have for the most part lost my taste for fiction, but I really enjoyed this (balanced with making sure I was keeping up with my devotional reading alongside). It was movingly written and full of quite sound Scriptural principles, barring the interesting interpretation of "hellfire burning for aeons=purgatory", which obviously I found objectionable. Man's choice for God or against Him is sealed by death; if flames could purify the soul, then Christ need not have died. But I digress.
I admired Helen's sturdy devotion to morals: like Jane Eyre, she is willing to sacrifice what might be perceived as making one happy for the satisfaction of a clear conscience before God.
I did not expect the ending it had; quite honestly it was building up in my mind as hopelessly tragic, and I was relieved to find out I was wrong. Is that a spoiler? Sorry.
48. My Bible Friends Vol. 4, Etta B Degering. 120pp
This is something I read to Molly for bedtime over the course of several weeks. I love "My Bible Friends". They're so colourful and simple and bright, but thoroughly classic.
49. Say Hello to the Snowy Animals, Ian Whybrow. 20pp
Very cute. Molly loves the fuzzy animals on all the pages and laughs at the noises they make (or, more specifically, all the silly gestures and noises I make imitating them).
Page count for November: 1385
Total page count for 2011: 12,159
Juvenile fiction: 13
Juvenile nonfiction: 4
Step One - Make a post (public, friendslocked, filtered...whatever you're comfortable with) to your LJ. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fandom-related ("I'd love a Snape/Hermione icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.
- If you wish for real life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you.
- Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ so that the holiday joy will spread.
Step Two - Surf around your friendslist (or friends' friends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list.
And now here's the important part:
- If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it.
You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out; it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call.
There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish and it might come true. Give and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.
1. Isa Chandra Moskowitz cookbooks - I have none, but oh how I would love to have them all.
2. iTunes or Amazon gift cards.
3. Altar of Praise CDs.
4. Boxes of cold cereal. Rice chex, granolas, stuff with nuts and dried fruit preferred, but I also love things with cinnamon. I just... adore cold cereal lately.
5. Cast-iron trivets (here's an example) for my wood cookstove.
6. I would love to have a small, elegant sailing ship type ship for my new house. Maybe even in a bottle. I'm not actually even too sure exactly what I want, but maybe someone else choosing for me would remove the agony... lol. I don't want it to look overtly piratey.
7. Vintage maps.
8. Chocolate. Omnomnom.
...I can't think of ten things.
40845 McQueen Dr
Sweet Home, OR 97386
This had a slow start for me, and then it picked up. It bogged down again at one point about halfway through (political stuff) and if I hadn't been determined to finish it THIS WEEK (because I've been reading it since JUNE) I probably would have set it aside again.
There was a lot that was really interesting about sharks in this book that I did not know previously, and I feel I learned a lot. I didn't care so much for the overwhelming amount of text devoted to the political and activism sides of Saving Sharks. Not because I don't appreciate their efforts, but because that's just not interesting reading for me.
For more concision, I would have given it 4 stars.
42. Testimonies for the Church Volume 5, Ellen White. 894pp
What a very, very long book. NINETY-ONE CHAPTERS. I really enjoyed it, though. I have Volumes 6-9 left to finish now, but I'll take those up later: I have time to get The Great Controversy in this year and it's really important to me to make sure I read that every year.
43. The Connected Family, Paul and Carolyn Rayne. 159pp
This is the book that accompanies the video series that we're watching on our Wednesday night parenting class at church. I decided to go ahead and finish the book now to get my pathetic book count up by one. Very, very down-to-earth, practical information and methods of becoming close with your children so that you can effectively lead them to God. I recommend it highly for anyone who has children or is thinking of having them.
Page count for September: 1323
Total page count for 2011: 10,774
Juvenile fiction: 11
Juvenile nonfiction: 2